Someone Watching Over Me

It's been a few months now since I experienced a significant first in life. Those seem to be more and more rare as time goes by. 

Countless movies, songs, and personal accounts from friends and acquaintances over the years have referred to those who have passed on and with that come professions that "I know they are up there watching over me".  I've never really thought too much about this as I have always wholeheartedly believed it and known it's true. But I can say that I've never understood it...I mean REALLY gotten it, until now. 

I have never lost anyone that I've actually known and had a relationship with, much less someone very close to me. I guess I've just gone along thinking that it might never happen to me knowing all along it was inevitable. 

This past summer my Gramma Hope passed away after a long, mostly joyful... but often lonely life. When I was younger I saw her a lot more often but being across the country from her for most of my life has kept our relationship largely unexplored. But for a short couple of years my new wife and I lived close enough to visit almost every Sunday. We didn't yet have a working washer and dryer so she invited us to use hers as we came to visit each week. During that time we began to know her as a person and to love her snappy personality. We developed something great with this little old lady with crooked fingers and we have always been thankful for that time to have become friends with gramma. I never pictured what it might be like if she were beyond this world and could watch me much like God does. 

My whole life I've only answered to one all-knowing, all-seeing Being. He is the only one who really knows you, better than you know yourself. He is the only one who sees you when you're sleeping...and knows when you're awake. He knows your thoughts, your intentions, and your heart. He is the only Being with these attributes. If I believe my Gramma is with Him somewhere in the Heavens...and she is, then I must believe that she has passed from the mortal perspective I knew her in...to something closer to an immortal perspective. I wouldn't say that she has the same capabilities that my Heavenly Father possess to see into my heart and know what choices I will make infinitely. Surely that power is reserved for Him and His Son. But I am convinced she can see my actions wherever I am and whatever I am doing. And she can either be proud of me or saddened because of my choices. 

So if this is true, that changes things a bit. And it should. I feel like I already have a pretty good conscience that leads me along life. I try to take responsibility for my actions and try to always consider what God would have me do throughout my day. But that doesn't mean I don't ever slip up and falter. During those times perhaps I'll think about the only person I personally know that is a resident of Heaven and remember that my Gramma Hope expects the very best out of me. Do I want to rethink what I'm about to do?  Or neglect to do?

I have the belief that we all lived with our Father in Heaven before the world was created. We knew Him intimately just the way we know our earthly father or mother. But as we enter life in this world our minds are veiled and we are not permitted to recall that time with Him. Instead, we are encouraged to live on faith that He is there and hears us and guides our lives. 

So why should it make a difference to me that I know someone personally who can likely see everything I do and don't do?  How should that affect my life?  Well, I hope that it will make me a better person. I hope that my relationship with her on earth will give me added motivation to be more helpful, more honorable, more present, more willing to give and not take. Those are the things that she reminds me of from her own life. 

I am sure that those who pass on from this mortal life have much work waiting for them on the other side.  Undoubtedly I have had generations of ancestors who have already been watching over me and have been on Gods errand throughout my life. But now I feel like I have connections. I literally hugged an angel... I watched Fear Factor with an angel... I ate jello with the yummy fruit in it with that same angel. I carried an angel from the church step to a waiting car because the parking lot was too icy. I laughed hysterically and listened to the wisdom of this angel.  It's so cool to me to know that same awesome person is without pain and is at peace in a new home. I can truly say she is "my angel that watches over me" up beyond the stars. I just hope they don't ask her to say a prayer.